Discussion: understand extramarital affairs from the perspective of psychology and reduce the occurrence of extramarital affairs



Investigator: Lawyer


Occasionally, I can see the shaking of microblog, often review the topic of men’s extramarital affairs, and often see various criticism posts.



For example, there are only 0 and countless extramarital affairs. When you have an affair, you can’t forgive it, etc.


However, in a word, such comments are generally either people who are particularly happy in marriage and have no extramarital affairs, or girls who are not married and look forward to a perfect marriage.


In most marriages, even if you haven’t had a bad extramarital affair, you may encounter a mentally unfaithful man, or occasionally half hearted.



When most women encounter these situations, it is really difficult to be a bystander in the comments, read other people’s stories, say something, say something, and then leave.


We often accept students in similar situations and feel more realistically that when most women encounter this kind of thing, emotional collapse is inevitable.



In addition to collapse, men will be distressed. Can’t a man control himself? Why should they find an affair after marriage and do anything immoral?


Today, we do not judge the right and wrong of this matter with morality, but understand extramarital affairs from the perspective of psychology and learn how to reduce the possibility of extramarital affairs.



Psychology is inseparable from biology and the laws of nature.


In nature, the male and female distribution of all social animal populations has a certain law.


For example, in a lion group, there are usually 4-26 lions in a group, with an average of 15. In this group, there is always an adult male lion as their leader, while other males are expelled from the group, and the rest are several or more females and cubs.



A male lion occupies most of the female lion, which is the best structure for male and female in a lion group. This is the law of nature.


In addition, men have tens of millions of sperm in a gender, while women usually have only one egg a month, which also determines that men can breed offspring, while women pay attention to their own genetic characteristics.


In human society, in China’s ancient feudal society, feudal emperors had many wives and concubines, and the harem was full of wives and concubines, which was not only caused by the patriarchal society, but also caused by natural organisms.



Modern people pursue equality and restrict people’s behavior with law and morality, but since they need restraint, it shows that biology still exists.


If a person surpasses others in intelligence, talent, ability or personality charm, he will have the idea of having more opposite sex.



Psychological level


Men’s “Libido attack” is outward. This “sexual assault” was proposed by Freud. We can understand it as external energy, ability, creativity, expressiveness, development and so on.



Men always need external feedback to prove their existence value. Therefore, career and the opposite sex are the best ways for men to prove their abilities.


In fact, modern society has many restrictions on equal rights and marriage, and divorce has a great loss to both sides.


Sometimes, moral constraints may affect a person’s career development. In addition, many people work under great pressure and have no energy to deal with more interpersonal relationships.



Therefore, when considering whether to continue an extramarital affair, many men will consider the actual situation. When most men make choices in family and extramarital affairs, they are also more inclined to choose family.


Therefore, it is basically the problem of marriage itself that extramarital affairs can be regarded as true love, affect the family, or insist on teaching.


There are some problems in this relationship, leading men to take risks and seek comfort outside.


What kind of family problems will lead men to give up their original family when they have an extramarital affair


For example, when men always have no dignity in the family, they can easily look for it outside.



It is said that family is a harbor, but for many men who have been married for many years, they always appear to be outsiders in this harbor.


After work, I sat in the car for a long time and didn’t want to go upstairs, because when I went back, I had to see my wife complaining. It was disgusting.



Finally, when I got home, I always hid in four corners, toilet, kitchen, corridor and balcony. It seems that only by smoking in these corners can I get a moment of peace.


When they smoke home, they are told to do things. They do not love to do well. They want to relax and be accused of being too idle.


These scenes are not wishful thinking, but the attitude of many boys. As a woman, I often hear this and feel great family pressure.